Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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