After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
