that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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