PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
