Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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