my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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