ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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