IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
