quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
