i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
