i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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