let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
