listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
