He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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