You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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