so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
