she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
