i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We're not piercing ourselves today.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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