Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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