put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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