I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
