my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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