sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Rumble strips road head = magical
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize