Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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