I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize