Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
