Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
