i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
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