you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
