i barfeds in our rink
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
