you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
