i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
