By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
