I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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