He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
how drunk are you?
Several
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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