God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
