I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you win again, gameday.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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