Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
