All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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