I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
