Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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