I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just high enough for therapy.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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