I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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