I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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