I hate all girls vehemently.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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