How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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