On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
