Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
