This house was built for laser tag.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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