i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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