Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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