12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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