I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
