Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
