they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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