cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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