i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
