just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
don't judge my taste in strippers
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
