put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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