meet me or not, i'm out of control
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
When are your genitals available?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
