Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
