We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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