when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
