Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
