not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
