I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
