nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
