I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm too high and old for this...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
