i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize