Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
