she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
