I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
