you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
