So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
