Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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