I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
