I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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