the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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