I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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