I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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