Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
