I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
